Paint your nails with Ford Mustang colors!

When the Ford Mustang came out in 1964, some dared deride it as a "secretary's car," as if just happening upon the discovery that women might -- for some reason, who knows, the harried dames -- enjoy driving automobiles as well. What a concept. Fifty years later, Ford seems to be making the same discovery all over again. As deluded marketing tie-ins go, nothing evidently gets to a woman's heart more than vaguely automotive-themed nail polish. Right, ladies?

The nail polish, part of the "Ford Mustang by OPI" collection, came our way in the form of a press release with the odious title, "TAKING THE 'PEDI TO THE METAL," which made us want to chug a bottle of nail polish. We staved off death long enough to find out that the Mustang-themed polish comes in six colors with such vague and life-affirming names as "The Sky's My Limit," "Queen of the Road," "Angel with a Leadfoot," and "Girls Love Ponies," which is true only in the case of Tina Belcher. "A woman is multifaceted," reads the description of the latter. "This grown-up pink acts as a reminder of her femininity, even as she takes to the wheel of the powerful pony." Sadly, Angelyne drives a Corvette.

Double sadly, there's no Gotta Have It Green.

"There is a special kind of love affair between a woman and her car," said OPI's Suzi Weiss-Fischmann, who might or might not have owned a Dodge LaFemme. "These lacquers celebrate a woman's pursuit of excitement and invite OPI fans to accentuate their personal style and embrace Mustang's adventurous spirit through color."

Expect to find Mustang by OPI wherever fine, vaguely automotive-themed products are sold, such as Dillard's, JCPenney, ULTA, Buc-ee's, the Kmart manager's special aisle, all participating Flying J locations, possibly Caldor and Montgomery Ward. At $9.50 a pop, you can afford to paint every nail a different color.

By Blake Z. Rong