The truly awful finally get recognition at Concours d'LeMons

Finally, the Phantom Hurst Edition Pacer gets the respect that has so long eluded it. Ditto the Kate Jackson edition Bobcat/Pinto thing. And custom vans, remember them? They were out in force.

Yes, we went to the first annual Concours d'LeMons, a celebration of wheeled eyesores that served to remind us how truly vapid the 1970s were. And other decades, too.

Kevin Williams has a really solid excuse for buying a 1978 custom van, the one with orange and brown pinstripes straight from the factory.

"We were drunk," the proud owner of the so-called "Shag Van" reminisced.

He and some friends were waiting for a taxi one night when the idea came to him.

"I could buy something and hire one of my guys to drive it."

When he saw the Shag Van on craigslist for $1,800 he had to have it. And when someone told him about Concours d'LeMons, the concours for the truly awful, he felt he must be there even though, as he says, "I'm not really a big car show guy per se."

We liked the "per se."

Williams' van was one of an amazing 90 wheeled eyesores that proudly braved the dirt lots of Toro Park on the outskirts of Monterey to be a part of a special celebration.

While there were only a couple custom vans, there was a full squadron of Pintos, parked facing outward from one another in a semi-circle "so no one would rear-end anyone," according to one Pinto corral participant, in painful reference to the car's penchant for exploding when hit from behind.

MARK VAUGHN
The proud owners display the literature to support their frame-on non-restoration of the fabulous Mercury Bobcat.

Our eye was drawn like radioactive magma to the bright orange Mercury Bobcat (i.e. Pinto) of Sandy Edelstein and Scott King.

"Unfortunately, one of our habits is to troll eBay and this sort of popped up," said Edelstein.

King admits, though, that at $5,000 the car represents "maybe the upper band of the Pinto realm." Who knew the Pinto realm had an upper band? The real "Color and Upholstery" book used by Ford dealers to order Pinto trim packages was only $18.95, also from the Internet. Seeing Edelstein display the pages of the book for the judges, who had been and still were drinking, was shockingly similar to scenes that would play out only one day and several levels of culture later on the lawn at Pebble.

"Ha ha," said Edelstein to that notion.

Next to the flaming orange Bobcat was an actual Boss Pinto, one of only 500 ever built, according to proud owner Mike Streets. Streets showed us documentation that assured his car of the "provenance" that would set it apart for the inebriated judges.

Streets claims it was his car, parked at a Good Guys car show two years ago, that drew the eye of LeMons organizer Alain Galbraith.

"He saw it and fell in love with it," claimed Streets. "He said, 'I gotta do a show for all these weird cars.' "

Unlike the rest of the Monterey weekend's activities, there were no parking issues at LeMons (several adjacent dirt lots had space even during the afternoon rush), a taco truck replaced trays of oysters and flutes of champagne, and instead of a crystal "Trophee" the winner got a wood sign that looked like a high school wood shop project. It read simply "Worst in Show."

It was a truly awful afternoon. But in a good way.

By Mark Vaughn