Top Gear: The Motoring Ashes, Ferrari 599 GTO & Boris Becker

Top Gear Ashes v Australia

After a better than average start to the latest series of Top Gear (Series 16 AB), with a trio of tests and Scouse comic John Bishop proving there’s nothing quicker than a scouser in someone else’s car, tonight’s Top Gear looks promising too.

It’s Top Gear Ashes time, with the boys attempting to heap more humiliation on the Land Down Under. They take up a challenge from the Australian Top Gear presenters in a car-based version of the Ashes.

Expect some daft stunts, including a repeat of the double-decker car racing (last seen as we attempted to humiliate the Germans, but this time with the top car upside-down), sheep herding, drag racing and drifting. None of which will go well.

Jeremy gets to go out and play with only the third Ferrari ever to carry the GTO moniker (it’s good to throw in a bit of petrolhead trivia now and then so we look like we know what we’re talking about). Can the Ferrari 599 GTO live up to its heritage? Will Jeremy be as pathetically besotted with the 599 GTO as he was with the 458? Somehow, we doubt it.

Tonight’s star in a reasonably priced car is tennis Leg-End Boris Becker. Can he challenge John Bishop’s time? No, of course he can’t. He’s a proper-sized man (6’4″ and 17 stone), so he’s doesn’t have a prayer.

A couple of years ago we suggested to TG that they should run a handicap system with the SIARPC runs. Stick sandbags on the back floor of the car so everyone who goes round does so at 20 stone.

That would sort out who can really drive – not just the midgets who can string a couple of gear changes together. But they took no notice. Shame, really.

Anyway, even though you know Boris has no more chance of hitting the top of the leader board than Lawrence Dallaglio, it’s still worth the watch. Normal time – 8pm BBC2.

By Cars UK